Who Me?…

Matthew 11:28 “Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest.

You talking to me?

It’s time… I’m pretty good on the soap box but what happens when my rubber meets a bumpy road? It seems “obvious” what someone else should do… easy peasy… “Just Do It” with a check mark to declare it done.

Come to Me… I’m sending them first, Lord… I’ll be there in a minute! I’m sending those who need Your touch the most, to the front of the line.

Not today… Today, I finally get it! There is no line… and I am not the triage nurse, deciding who is in critical condition and who can wait in the Timid (when you have time, Lord) Prayer waiting room. Today… I’m in critical condition! Today… I am… weary and heavy-laden! I’m just DONE!

And so… I’m putting my money where my mouth is/has been, I’m going to Jesus because He says… “I will give you rest”. Now that… REST… is calling my name.

If I told you what has brought me to this place, you would surely laugh. I’ve laughed at bigger arrows the enemy has fired at me…  there was no way this “little”challenge (who happens to be named Kobi) is going to take down this “blood bought, spirit filled, warrior child”. I am dressed in the full armor of God and I am not taking prisoners! I have a reputation to maintain!

I don’t know who started the rumor but I certainly fell for it hook, line and sinker… the idea that I didn’t have any problems or if I did, I could handle them myself and save the BIG ones for God. REALLY? Cause I’m here to tell you that is exactly why (with a capital I) my week went to hell… I tried and I failed miserably in the “handling things” department.

Yesterday, I was so humiliated and ashamed I thought about shutting down this Ministry of Encouragement. How could I, the one who speaks to abundant life, fail to live in victory? How could I, the one whom people look to for “happy”, be miserable? How could I confess to you that I sometimes suffer a secret weakness of depression? I sometimes throw a fit, stomp my feet, and take my toys home. How could I…

I have spent these last 6 months talking the talk… but WHAT have I been talking about? God called me out… Matthew 11:29 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me” This is what I’m talking about… What are you talking about, Mary?

Have I been indicating that encouragement found in Christ is only necessary until I can take care of myself? Has pride been slowly growing in my soul that I can pretend I am so much more capable than those I minister to? Have I really been preaching the healthy, wealthy, and wise gospel of prosperity based in my  own self esteem?

I didn’t think you needed to hear my problems. For that matter I didn’t think anyone needed to be burdened with my light affliction when their afflictions  are so much bigger and heavier. To be really truthful, I didn’t think I had any problems until, in my humiliation and shame, I realized I AM THE PROBLEM! And… I am neither temporary nor small!

People, I’m going for the gold today! I want full, pressed down, shaken, and overflowing encouragement. I am going to take the talk from the last 6 months and I am going to walk the talk. Today I am going to Jesus and I am going to… Take His yoke upon me and learn from Him… Today, I am walking/running to Him. Today, I will be receiving  His rest!

Will it change last week? Nope. Will it fix the failures that came about? No, but there will be more coming, I’m sure. Will it change those around me because of their sympathy for my affliction? Maybe for a minute…  Philippians 3:13 but one thing I do; forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 

Today… I will be changed… from I-I-I to Him-Him-Him.

I can’t wait… gotta go NOW… Jesus is calling and I’m going to listen!

God willing (and the creek don’t rise), I’ll talk to you next week.

**All Scripture quoted comes from the “Bible Gateway” app and is the NASB  version of the Bible