Sibling Rivalry…
You know how, when you begin to redecorate, you first have to make a hot mess… that’s what I was doing this last weekend with my AWESOME friend Sara. She gave me the courage to begin the change (baby steps!!!) but with just a click of the button the change can become “oops”. This post, “Sibling Rivalry”, to those who were paying attention, was published – and now it is not… is the oops revisited…
Luke 15:29-32 But he answered and said to his father, ‘Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.’ And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.’
Being the Baby of the Family, sometimes the burden falls on one’s shoulders to carry the perverted memories of “Mom always liked you best!” or “You always got what you wanted, cause you were the SPOILED BRAT” (always said with a smirk just in case a ready excuse of “teasing” is needed to shut down the truth of the matter)
Yes, I was… and sometimes I still am… the spoiled brat! I have been the cocky younger sibling, Jesus was talking about, MANY times in my life! I have asked (and sometimes gotten) my share of family budget which couldn’t/wouldn’t/shouldn’t stretch as far as it needed to. I have taken that inheritance and without a second thought to my other siblings, I have thrown it to the wind on nonsense and such.
I can’t say my parents threw a huge fattened calf party when I came to my senses, but they always wrapped their arms around me and called me their daughter.
And this is my point… WE ARE FAMILY! Whether my siblings approved &/or chose to have me as their baby sister… I am. Not even excommunication can change the DNA of that!
I am God’s child, therefore I have every right and responsibility to be God’s daughter. Jesus made it so… and no amount of playground bullying will change the truth. Ephesians 1:5 He predestined (nope He didn’t wait to ask our permission for all the other babies) us to adoptions as sons (and daughters) through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will.
Psalm 139:16 Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Your book were all written the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them.
He made Baby Jesus Freaks…
Romans 8:15 – 17 For (we) have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but (we) have received a spirit of adoption as sons… and daughters… by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ,
As the story shows us… we, the other sibling, don’t have the right, or responsibility, or the giftedness of a judge, to tell Abba who he can and cannot love! And… just to be clear… not liking or loving our siblings is not a justifiable reason to have a distant relationship… with Abba or with His children.
My relationship and your relationship with God, our Abba, is not determined by who He is and what He does for our other siblings around the world and throughout history. The quality and intensity of my relationship and your relationship with Abba, is determined when each of us look upward… into the face, into the eyes and heart, of our living God.
When we look outward, with jealousy and greed… we give our enemy (Satan) access to our most vulnerable spot… our heart… where the love of God and for God is stored. Not only is our treasure being soiled but our position to receive and bask in the truth is compromised as we are thrown into a pit of doubt, and guilt, and despair that we may never get out.
The solution… to the older son’s cranky, angry scream of “UNFAIR!”… and to our similar tantrums… is to come home… and remain so close to his Daddy that nothing or no one can come between… hmmm, exactly where the younger son was running back to after realizing his need… now who is the smart one?
Who are our siblings?
Israel… even those who are still looking for Jesus, the Messiah…
Deuteronomy 7:6 For you are a holy people to the LORD your God; the LORD your God has chosen you to be a people for His own possession out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth… we Gentiles are grafted in, not a separate plant… and not a root that we could stand alone.
Who are our siblings?
Our neighbor… our world… those who may or may not go to the same church as us… those people whom we don’t understand because of language, or culture, or lifestyle… those people God has set before us.
Who are our siblings?
Our siblings are those whom God has chosen and is training to become Jesus Freaks!
John 10:27-29 My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. My Father, who has given them to Me, is greater than all; and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. I and the Father are one.”
Not all of us look-alike… not all of us walk the same path… not all of us are the same age…
As siblings, we need to GET OVER OUR BAD SELF! Judging (I’m not talking about speaking the truth in love &/or encouraging someone to get out and away from the quicksand) others who have been God-placed in our family as unworthy or unforgivable or untouchable or God forbid, unsavable, is simply asking for judgement upon yourself!
Matthew 7: 1-2 Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. The older son was saying that his younger sibling was not deserving of the unconditional love of his father. Yet in listing the reasons why, he had to acknowledge (in the deep regions of his fear) that he might not be deserving if, according to his way of thinking, the sign for deserving/undeserving is the public display of honor and glory. Thus he then had to list the reasons why it should have been him receiving ALL the honor and glory and his baby brother should be.. “thrown back into the pig pen where he came from!”
That’s the nature of sibling rivalry… I don’t want to be just one of the family… I want to be THE ONE of the family!
I use to think we would all grow up and grow out of this clash for family status… but here I am at 64 years old, my siblings all being OLDER than me… still being given what I assume is my lifelong status in this earthly family. I could throw a hissy fit (and at times I am sooooo tempted!) but that would only PROVE their point (which of course is OLDER and possibly wiser – NOT)…
What I could choose to do instead, is focus my eyes on my Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name (Ephesians 3:15)
Maybe… if we all did this in our homes… our churches… our neighborhoods… our world…
Instead of being a source of hurt to ourselves and our siblings, God could grant to all of us, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in our hearts through faith; and that we, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.
Instead of jealousy and greed and rivalry, we could let God issue His official Family Birth Certificate and we could receive each and every member (including ourselves) with unconditional UNCONDITIONAL love.
Kind of like… when my sibling slaps me with “spoiled brat”… I turn my other cheek and say “Yep, I am the child of the One True King, and that makes me His little princess! Spoiled? You betcha! I am an heir to His kingdom!”
It’s not about you and me competing to be the one whom God loves the best… it’s about being home with our God who loves the best… His love is forever perfect!
Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death, not life, nor angels, nor principalities, not things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our LORD.
**All Scripture quoted comes from the “Bible Gateway” app and is the NASB version of the Bible